The Real Reason French Women aren’t Fat
Reason 1: The French do not eat at their local Double Down and fried cheese melt hubs. Simply because they know better. Even after a few years of glittery inhumane food marketing tactics the public has remained rooted and repulsed.
But perhaps lean, practical French minds could be corrupted, taste buds transforming, glistening at the thought of a trip to the corner Mc “Café”. And then, all that’s left to ponder is their afternoon choice of coffee. But it’s another decision: a large coffee, inconspicuously disguised with artificial French vanilla flavor and limp frothy layers of Redi-Whip paired with the number of other people in line who “are doing it too”…or the choice of a meager, traditional, rice and beans café au lait.
There is something about the advertising of these supermodel cheeseburgers and sparkly corporate coffee drinks that make the US culture think: I am consumer, therefore I buy. Therefore I eat. And eat. And eat. Something About Cheeseburger. But really, it is Something About our culture’s aggressive abundance of supermarket and dining choices.
Reason 2: The French don’t think about food. Not in the same way that we do.
Yes, French women aren’t fat because they eat small portions. This is true. But the reason this is true is because they are not predisposed to be concerned with portions. Food and anxiety are synonymous in our country. The American Eating Disorder is an epidemically learned behavior. We think we know the rules. We conceive it to be obvious. Don’t order your salad with blue cheese dressing and bacon if you’re trying to diet. But …it isn’t so obvious. There is an indulgent amount of books,food rules, celebrity endorsements, and vending machines constipating our pantries. The more we have, the less we understand and the harder it is to make a decision.
Women are, unfortunately, attracted to men who subtly act like they don’t give a fuck (and sometimes they really just don’t). This works on us, easy. So, in a sense, we need to not give an F about our food so that the art of the meal itself can comfortably manifest with us into a healthy and pleasurable relationship. Without calling too many times or counting too many calories. However, this theory will only work if you are nutritionally educated. This is the tough part. Most people are spun into a whirlwind of consumer choices in a world where food is thought of as Bad. We are not confident, therefore we are susceptible to failure. We can’t come to grips with our adulterous affairs with fat and sugar percentages. Great meals are being served and spooned while we’re pondering if these potato chips on isle six are okay to eat if they’re 40 percent lower fat than the regular. Our culture welcomes the obsessions, detrimentally turning food in to a worrisome concept with many meanings and too much baggage. We look to food for answers, but our cultural detachment from it prevents us from asking the right questions.
Reason 3: The French smoke lots of cigarettes. Everyone knows a packed Marlboro tastes just as good as a Philly cheesesteak and is at least half the calories.