closed for love
There is a phenomenon I’ve noticed quite a bit. Smart, attractive, older women who have never been married and in fact, rarely have a serious boyfriend for very long if at all. It makes you wonder why? They say they want to find Mr. Right. I’m friends with a few of these women and I enjoy their company just fine, so why are they still looking for love and not finding it?
Recently my one friend has begun seriously looking. The whole routine with the online dating sites, followed by day after day of basically blind dates, followed by her complaining that looking for love was a lot of work. Having been married for nearly 20 years myself, I hate to break the news to her that finding him is just the beginning of the work. But throughout this process of hers, I see a pattern. She gave me a whole list of things she didn’t like about the guy de jour before she even met him. After the date, the list grew. Things such as “He’s a former cop, which I don’t like” before the meet up. Folowed by “I didn’t like his teeth and he’s possibly a Nazi” after the meet.
That was when my original suspicions were confirmed. She isn’t open to finding love. If such ridiculous minutia is going to prevent her from getting to really know a guy, she will never get close enough to any man to fall for him. No one is perfect. There are imperfections with everyone, but when you are truly in love, you don’t see them.
I’m not picking on my friend. I think this phenomenon is common. In fact just yesterday it was a segment on Oprah. A very attractive 40-something year old woman couldn’t find love. They brought in a professional matchmaker to help her. The woman’s must have list for her perfect mate was a mile long and included things like “never been married, no kids, younger than her, and he can’t ever drink out of a straw.” What? Good luck with that (and that was exactly what the matchmaker told her).
So I guess my question is this… are some of us open while other are simply closed to love?
Cat