The setting is Sam’s Club (or Costco, or BJs or whatever your local box store is). A women in rubber gloves stands behind a cart handing out free samples to the many shoppers strolling through the aisles.

“Would you like to taste a free sample of our Spicy Mongolian Beef?” she asks a passerby.

After the shopper eats the sample, the employee hands her a pencil and form. “Would you please rate this sample on a scale of 1 to 5 where 1 is you didn’t like it at all and 5 is you would recommend it to all your friends?”

The shopper responds with a rating of 1 and hands the form back.

“Can you tell me why you rated the free sample of Spicy Mongolian Beef a 1?” the employee asks.

“Well, first of all it was much too small. I mean, why bother eating it at all? It’s not worth the time and effort. Then, it was spicy. I hate spicy food. And finally, it was beef. I never eat beef. I only eat chicken and pork.”

Ridiculous, you say? The shopper was clearly told it was a free sample (in other words “small”) of spicy beef, so why would she judge it so harshly based on her own personal preferences?

Surprisingly this exact scenario happens daily to myself and all of my author friends. No, we don’t moonlight at Sam’s Club as the Sample Lady, but we do give away our stories for free sometimes so readers can get a taste of what our writing is like. The hope is that through the free sampling they will find they enjoy our style or our characters and seek out more of our work to purchase.

It works. I’ve gotten lots of fan mail from people who downloaded one of my free reads, loved it, and wanted to know where to find more of my work, or simply wanted to thank me for writing it. On the other hand, check out the reader reviews of any free read on Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com or allromanceebooks.com and you will see dozens of reader reviews that echo the above Sam’s Club shopper’s comments almost verbatim.

“It was much too small. I mean, why bother [reading] it at all? It’s not worth the time and effort.” I’ve seen this comment for short stories where the word count is clearly marked and it is obviously a short story. And remember, it was FREE.

“It was spicy! I hate spicy food.” Substitute  the words “There was sex in it! I never read erotic romance” and you’ve pretty much got what I’ve read in many reviews by readers of sweet romance who downloaded an erotic romance simply because it was free.

“It was beef. I never eat beef. I only eat chicken and pork.” You can substitute the above “erotic” scenario for this one too, but also things like “It was contemporary and I only read historical.” Or “it had vampires and I never read paranormal.” You get the picture.

The absolute most mind boggling is when they rate it a 1 and leave a review saying, “I didn’t bother reading it because of the other bad reader reviews.” Can you imagine the fall out if the NY Times food critic rated a restaurant without ever eating there? It is absolutely unimaginable, but I read that exact reader review last night on BN.com.

Why does this happen?

It’s one of the great mysteries of the literary world. In fact at my Borders Books signing last Saturday, the other 4 authors and I spent a considerable amount of time discussing the phenomenon.

Here are my theories on the subject… I think many people will take anything that’s free no matter what it is. Because of that, our work is being consumed by customers who would never and should never have been our readers normally.

I also think that when it takes some time and effort (like in the old days of snail mail) only those who feel extremely strongly about something, good or bad, will leave a review, but all those in the middle don’t bother. That said, nowadays eRetail sites are making it easy to leave a rating with just one click which results in the high number of reviews that span 1-5 with no rhyme or reason.

Let me daydream for a moment about the perfect world and rewrite the Sam’s Club scene. In my scene, the shopper writes, “I did not enjoy this free sample of Spicy Mongolian Beef. Though perhaps other might enjoy it, it was not to my taste because I don’t like spicy food and I don’t eat beef.”

Or perhaps, she shouldn’t take it and eat it in the first place? Nah, now I’m just talking crazy!

Cat

So I guess the trick is to either be a soothsayer and know what the next trend will be, 0r write in a genre that is always popular. I write romance. I get a lot of flack for writing romance, but you know what? Romance sells. During the great recession of 2009, romance sales increased. It was even on the news as people who belittle the genre for not being ‘important literature’ had to admit there is a place in this world for good old fashioned mindless entertainment. When people are losing their jobs and their homes, why wouldn’t they want something to take their mind off reality for a few hours. And with movie theater tickets creeping steadily upward (not to mention the price of the popcorn and soda which should be considered extortion), a good old paperback is looking more and more like a bargain.

So yes I have to put up with the critics who say I write trash and laugh at me. I laugh all the way to the bank with my royalty checks because I write what sells. Does that make me a sell out? No, it makes me smart. Besides I wouldn’t do it no matter how well it sold if I didn’t love my job.

One of the biggest compliments I’ve ever received was when one of the executives of a major production company called me “very commercial”. I did ask the person the comment was made to if that was a good thing or a bad thing. He told me it was a very good thing and I agree.

Until next time.

Cat

I didn’t actually have to tell anyone about my new career, my Facebook and email signature line did that for me and it put me in a unique situation. I’m used to being Cat Johnson, erotic writer on line, even live at book signings and romance conventions. I’m not used to being her face to face with people I’ve known since kindergarten. Why that makes a difference, I’m not sure but I’ve kind of felt like I’ve been straddling a picket fence since my 2 lives converged. As you can imagine, that’s an uncomfortable position to be in.

It’s raised a question for me and my writing. How can I be perfectly comfortable writing hot stuff in one part of my life, but apologetic about it in another? I’ve been bragging all over the web today about a new rave review that said my latest cowboy threesome Unridden had “so much sizzling sex you’ll melt the house down” but just a few days ago when my former classmates asked about my writing I felt the need to apologize that they’re just trashy novels.

The vast irony is that I don’t even write hot enough to be considered by quite a few publishers I’ve submitted to. While editing “Gillian’s Island”, the editor made a comment that the story “wasn’t very erotic”. Yet I felt the need to put a big old verbal warning on my books for my classmates. I guess it’s a matter of expectations. Readers and fans expect heat from Cat Johnson. Graduates from Westlake High School don’t.

For the first time I understand why some authors have different pen names for different genres, though building a reputation is hard enough for one name, forget about two. We’ll see I guess. Perhaps a big NY book contract will get me over the fence so I can sit happily on the hot side and not feel uncomfortable. Until then, I suppose I won’t see most of these people again for another half a decade, and as evidenced by the last 5 years, anything can happen by then.

Until next time,

Cat

During any given day I can and have Googled everything from how long Viagra takes to work, how much a porn star can make for a single movie and the types and weight of Russian weapons used in the 1980’s. I’ve researched horses, bulls, chaps and ropes for the cowboy books. Bullet-proof vests and ranks for the military ones. But by far the most fun book to research was the one that released today, the book that first led me to the Eat Something Sexy website.

For Gillian’s Island (a naughty twist on the old TV series Gilligan’s Island) I researched wildlife and vegetation native to California’s Channel Islands, small water craft safety and Coast Guard publications, yachts, and most importantly, aphrodisiacs. How excited was I when I first found Amy Reiley’s site listing and explaining all the known aphrodisiacs? Almost as excited as when I compared the list and saw how many were native to where I’d set the book. A bit more research of a few ways to prep and cook these gifts of nature and I had the scene I needed for my two characters to fall in love… and in lust. I even have the characters discuss Amy’s aphrodisiac  cookbook, Fork Me, Spoon Me, in my story as a good way to keep their relationship hot after they are rescued and decide they can’t live without each other.

The premise is pretty straight forward. A private cruise and a storm leave us with a group of castaways stranded on an island where all the food they find there is an aphrodisiac. Let the nautiness ensue.

So here you go, a very small portion of the scene where our hero, a nerdy professor, is feeding our heroine her first tastes of nature’s bounty, and she’s not sure she likes it. Enjoy this exclusive excerpt that I plucked from the book just for my Eat Something Sexy readers.

GILLIAN’S ISLAND by Cat Johnson (a contemporary romance)

The furrow between her brows deepened.  “Are you sure it’s edible?”

“Yes.  Not only is it edible, sea urchins are prized in certain parts of the world.”  Figuring he needed to distract her, he launched into all he knew about sea urchins.  “The best time to gather them is at night under a full moon.”

Her gaze darted to the luminescent orb above them.  “Like tonight.”

He smiled.  “Like tonight.  Some islanders drizzle them with olive oil and a dash of vinegar.”

Luckily for him, the galley was very well stocked.  As he spoke, he did what he described, preparing the raw sea urchin he’d opened for her with the oil and vinegar.  With a kitchen towel wrapped around his left hand to protect him from the spines, he used the tines of the fork in his right to lift out the colorful little sections of flesh.  He didn’t dare elaborate and tell Gillian the edible part was actually the hermaphroditic creature’s gonads.  Some things were better left unsaid.

“What do you do for a living?”

He narrowed his eyes at her.  “You’re stalling.”

“No.  Well, yes, but I really am curious.  You know more about everything than anyone else I know.”

“I know a little bit about a lot of things.  That doesn’t mean I know everything about everything.  I’m a professor in the anthropology department at the University of Chicago.  Since we’re playing question and answer, what do you do?”

“I’m a boring old accountant.”

“You’re not boring or old.”

“I’m so boring I had three years worth of vacation days stored up because I never do anything or go anywhere.  That turned out to be lucky, though, since I’ve used them so I could help my sister with the wedding.”

“Lucky indeed.  Now enough stalling.  Are you ready?”  He held the fork up.

She wrinkled her nose.  “You first.”

Jamie sighed dramatically while rolling his eyes and was rewarded with a smile from Gillian.  He slurped down the custard-like fish then licked his lips.  “Mmm.  Good.  Your turn now.”

That’s it, you only get a taste! But I assure you, there is lots more. LOL.

Until next time.

Cat

But anyway, I know that food is sexy, that it goes hand in hand with romance (IE you get wined and dined by the man of your dreams, and the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach). There is a long history of the connection, I dare say back to ancient times. Picture those Romans lying around eating and drinking before their orgies. So why wouldn’t food bloggers and a romance writer go together?

Today I stumbled upon support for my theory that food and romance go together as well as wine and cheese. I was researching the author who I’ll be interviewing tonight on the BlogTalkRadio show I host for All Romance eBooks and guess what I discovered? Her new books from St. Martin’s Press are in the Recipe for Love series and her newest release, Can’t Stand the Heat, is a romance novel set in the Manhattan culinary scene. Author Louisa Edwards knows food and romance go hand in hand. In fact, she was working as a restaurant critic before she decided to write the food inspired romance novel.

I’m really looking forward to our interview tonight, and if you think that food and romance go together like peanut butter and jelly, or even if you don’t, stop by. If you can’t catch the show live at 9:30 PM Eastern time, you can always catch the podcast anytime. I’m hoping to come away (despite my friends’ opinions) with affirmation that romance writers and food bloggers do indeed compliment each other perfectly, just like whipped cream and… all right, you’ll have to use your imagination. I’m trying to keep this blog rated PG! LOL.

Until next time,

Cat