I Say Tomato, You Say Krispy Kreme Burger?
My best friend Brett and i get along well. Really well. However, when it comes to food we’re pretty different. You know that guy on Man vs. Food on the Travel Channel? That’s pretty much how Brett eats minus the extremely spicy food challenges. I eat a few chicken fingers and some fries at the airport and call him to pass the time at the Tucson back in November. Inevitably I ended up up clutching my stomach and dominating the conversation just complaining about how too much fried food doesn’t agree with me. Brett, on the other hand, is a fried food aficionado, a master of buffets, with astounding culinary adventures of the mediocre kind.
Today began with me waking up, deciding to go to the gym. Then, I ate some vanilla almond special K for breakfast, leftover vegan chili I’d made last night for lunch (a recipe from the aphrodisiac queen herself), and scrambled eggs with a little chorizo and cheese for dinner. I polished off the day with some chocolate soy ice cream mixed with peanut butter pretzel nuggets and strawberries mixed in for dessert. All in all, my new resolve to be healthier was a success today.
Meanwhile at the other end of the spectrum (and country) I begin to receive texts from Brett about his food exploits at the Florida Strawberry Festival. Naturally (or perhaps unnaturally) not a single strawberry touched his lips. Instead I received a text on my phone with a picture of a hamburger topped with bacon sandwiched between two donuts. Officially its called the Krispy Kreme burger . He also told me he had deep fried oreos as a side. When I spoke to Brett later tonight I was (sort of) surprised to learn this was not all he ate at the fair. He’d had:
fried cheese on a stick
footlong italian sausage sub
fried chicken on a stick
fresh cut potato chips
krispy kreme donut burger
deep friend oreos
When I try to picture eating that amount of food all my mind comes up with is ‘The Hungry Caterpillar’ children’s book. And he still came back to his apartment and ate dinner!
As we continued talking he informed me he was, yet again, hungry. The conversation goes at follows:
Brett: some quaker chewy granola bars hit the spot
good -3 down
Me: something not artery clogging
Brett: well i put salt on them
Me: what?!
Brett?: haha im kidding!
I almost had a heart attack for him.